Wanna Make Out?

Dr. Lori Bednarchik Talks About Consent

Bismarck State College hosted Dr. Lori Bednarchik to present at the Advanced Technology Center on Sept. 3 at 6:30 p.m. The presentation, titled “Wanna Make Out?”, covered the topic of sexual consent in a positive, uncensored, and judgement free manner. BSC’s Title IX team organized the event and booked Bednarchik through the CAMPUSPEAK program, which aims to educate and inspire students in their success and college careers.

Vice President of Student Affairs Kaylyn Bondy expanded on CAMPUSPEAK, explaining that Bednarchik had presented at BSC a year prior on the topic of boundaries.

“We have an obligation to assist students and [help them] understand more about anything Title IX related,” Bondy said. “Lori works with a company called CAMPUSPEAK. So [CAMPUSPEAK] engages different types of presenters and speakers, and [Lori] is one of them. We had her here last year and had great feedback from students, so we decided to bring her back for another time this year.”

Bednarchik’s presentation covered five main aspects of consent and allowed the audience to interact with green, yellow, and red cards, with green meaning “go,” yellow meaning “pause and talk,” and red meaning “stop.” 

No matter which card, Bednarchik stressed the importance of constant communication during sexual activity and hoped students left the presentation thinking “I knew that already.”

“I hope that some of them walk away and say ‘that was a good refresher’ … and I hope there are other people in the audience that there was at least one piece that they're taking away tonight and putting into practice in their relationship currently or in a future relationship,” Bednarchik said. 

Bednarchik went on to share trends in consent and dating that she has noticed in the college population.

“What's interesting is that there's a lot of students who are not dating because the atmosphere is really challenging,” Bednarchik said. “I think a lot of people assume that the only way to meet people is online. And so I think a lot of young people are expressing to me that they're having less sex, less hooking up, because it's harder to meet people. And so they're not having those opportunities that they used to have to meet people to do those things. I think we're in a transition period, and I think we're gonna see something really interesting happen with dating.”

For students who missed the presentation, Bednarchik explained that websites online can provide more information regarding consent and healthy relationships. Another way to learn more is by asking oneself the question; what does a healthy relationship look like? What do I value? What do I want in my relationship? Bednarchik mentioned seeking out others who value the same thing can provide insight into these questions.

“Stereotypes and assumptions about people and relationships need to be challenged,” Bednarchik said. “Consent is not just one person’s job. It is not about one person asking and the other saying yes or no. It is the responsibility of the person initiating physical or sexual activity to ask for and get consent. At the same time, consent is not limited to sex. It is a part of everyday life, and we all have to be mindful of boundaries and differences.”

Events like “Wanna Make Out?” are organized by BSC throughout the year. Keep an eye out for other events like this in the near future.